12:25 p.m.: Short version: That worked.12:23 p.m.: What the hell? I'm getting full! I'm even winding down a little! Which is too bad, as I'd just started reading a new Jonathan Safran Foer cup, but whatever.12 p.m.: Strolling into a Chipotle with the intent to go low-cal feels obscene, like, what the hell am I even doing here? If low-cal were my goal, wouldn't I be cutting up fresh tomatoes from my dad's garden? It seems like a long drive for a pre-emptively minimalist dining experience.
So we set out to compare the experience of eating Chipotle's lowest-cal offering (as determined by Important Internet Research) with that of its highest-not for a quantitative measurement, mind you, but to see what it felt like emotionally. Calorie-intake guidelines vary wildly by person, but in a lot of cases one lousy lunch can contain more than half of what most humans should ingest in a day. In fact, back in February, The New York Times scared the guac out of the Internet by finding that a "typical" Chipotle order (say, a meat burrito with beans, cheese, and sour cream) contains about 1,070 calories. The messages are a little muddled, is what we're saying.
#CALORIES COUNTER CHIPOTLE FULL#
They also serve burritos the approximate size and density of a regulation football and offer some meals that contain a full day's worth of sodium and about enough calories to nourish a horse. They offer sweet interactive calorie-counting graphics, claim to use only non-GMO ingredients, and definitely use only hippie fonts. When it comes to eating healthy, Chipotle is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside a flour tortilla and pretty much drowning in sour cream.
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